


Snak Pak

by odiko_ptino



Series: Modern AU [26]
Category: Greek and Roman Mythology
Genre: Aristaeus should have been mentioned but i forgot, Coffee Shop, Demeter (mentioned) - Freeform, Gen, M/M, agriculture as Big Business
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-20 18:03:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17027460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/odiko_ptino/pseuds/odiko_ptino
Summary: Apollo (inadvisably) tries out the food from the coffee shop where Icarus works.





	Snak Pak

“I don’t understand why you eat ramen noodles and hot dogs, when you have the option of eating better from the very place where you work,” Apollo remarks, surveying the café display.

“I can’t afford to eat here,” Icarus reminds him.  “Sometimes the stuff gets marked down if it’s old, and I can get it that way.”

“That other kid who works here eats the food all the time!”  Helios is leaning wayyyyyy back in a chair nearby.  

“That’s because Blake steals it, mostly.  He likes living dangerously.”

“But these are very nearly what we ate in the old days!” Apollo persists, holding up the little plastic Snak Pak containers (which would cost Icarus about an hour’s work to buy).  “A small assemblage of healthy foods. Yogurt, fruit, and nuts – a perfect breakfast.  Or this one here – some grapes, cheese, and pretzels.  A thick slice of bread would be better than the salty pretzels, but that’s a quibble, really; it’s still a very nearly perfect lunch.  Fruit, vegetables, grain and protein. Pre-measured so you don’t eat too little or too much.”

“I bet it’s not as great as you’re imagining,” Icarus suggests.

“I think this time  _you’re_  being the snob,” Apollo informs him haughtily. “Just because it isn’t loaded with sugar and MSG and other contaminants meant to extend the shelf life, doesn’t mean it can’t be delicious and filling.”

Icarus glances doubtfully at the brand-logo stamped on the plastic container.  “Well… I’m not arguing that point, but I don’t think it applies here… anyway, it’s moot.  I still can’t afford it.”

Helios leers.  “You know, I bet I could scrounge up a little cash, in exchange for – ”

“Nope,” Icarus interrupts firmly.  “I’m on shift.”

“But  _later_  – ”

“Ugh.  Very well.  Helios, save the lechery for later.”  Apollo slaps down a few coins on the counter, which might or might not be acceptable Canadian currency.  The god pops open the carrot/ grape/ pretzels/ cheese Snak Pak.  “Lunch is on me, today.  Perhaps I can start you on the path to eating more healthily.”

He purposefully starts with a cube of yellow cheese, popping it into his mouth as Icarus and Helios watch with interest.  

Apollo’s face changes, almost imperceptibly – but, for someone whose face is ordinarily impassively perfect all the time, even the slightest change in expression is  _very_  noticeable.  His eyes widen just a fraction – the perfectly curved eyebrows lift – the corners of his mouth turn down, just barely –

“Oh man, it must be  _gross_!” Helios sounds delighted.

“I would never eat that cheese!  It has a shelf life of like, forty years!”

They watch, grinning in amusement, as Apollo goes through nine hells of agony and manages to swallow the cheese-inspired milk-based snack.  He closes his eyes and shudders.  

“This disgusting cheese may be one of humanity’s many mistakes,” he says after a moment, “…but surely it’s impossible to get raw produce wrong.  One simply plants seeds in the earth, and with the grace of Demeter, they grow.”

“Better not open that can of worms around Demeter,” Helios mutters, but not too loudly – he, like Icarus, is hanging on this entire misadventure with bated breath.

A little less confidently, Apollo puts a carrot stick into his mouth.  The frown intensifies, and the eyebrows drop from where they’d risen to somewhere near his hairline, to knit slightly.  

“These… are utterly tasteless,” he says, bewildered.  “Carrots – are sweet!  Buttery and crisp!  A tantalizing crunch that gives way to a cloying hidden sweet flavor!”

“Not these,” Icarus understates, poking at the plastic cup.  “You never heard of the homogenization of food?  It’s all Big Business now.”

“Part of government involvement in agriculture.  The carrots are all engineered to grow fast and big and to keep well in storage/travel, at the cost of flavor,” Helios lectures.  Icarus quirks an eyebrow at him while Apollo glares.  Helios snickers.  “It’s been on Demeter’s Top Ten Things to Bitch About for about eighty years now.”

“Let me just spare you now… the grapes aren’t much better,” Icarus informs Apollo.  “Or the yogurt… the nuts are fine, I guess, though they’re usually pretty salty…”

“We are going to Greece every day for every meal,” Apollo says firmly, putting a cup under the “free tap water” spout – Icarus wonders if he should tell him that disappointment is about to dog him yet again.  “Your entire agri-gustatory system needs an overhaul.”

“Sounds hot,” opines Helios while Icarus sighs.

“… I will be conferring with Demeter immediately.  Unacceptable,” Apollo says, holding the glass to his mouth.

Icarus tries to remember the good old days, when drinking a glass of water was boring.


End file.
